• Wayne Perkins

Coronavirus. Why toiletpaper?

As coronavirus fear grips the world causing financial markets to shake, travel and tourism industries to tremble, health providers to prepare contingency plans and supply chains to be disrupted, perhaps the most surprising consequence of all is that toilet paper, that most mundane and functional of items, is being bought and hoarded like gold.

Now I’m all for people preparing for an emergency and like many others I have popped a couple of extra cans of spaghetti into the pantry and brought three dozen lightbulbs(well you never know!) but I just don’t get the toilet paper panic.

You can die from thirst, and you can die from hunger but so far I am unaware of anyone ever dying from not being able to wipe their backside properly, and so, while it might be unpleasant to have to use newspaper (tends to be a bit smeary) or the garden hose (a surge of pressure can cause an unexpected colonic irrigation procedure), it’s unlikely to really cause any major issues.

But it just goes to show that we humans are a strange breed and often make irrational and illogical decisions when faced with uncertainty and fear which, if I may make so bold as to get all political, might explain why we have Shane Jones as a government minister!

But I digress!

On a more serious note, it seems increasingly likely that the coronavirus is going to be around for longer and have a far greater impact than originally thought. Peoples lives have already been severely impacted, both health wise and financially, and we do well to remember that behind the statistics and numbers, are real people and their families.

In all probability its coming to a town near you, it’s possibly already there, and at a time like this, where misinformation is so incredibly rampant (a lie can run around the world before truth has even put its boots on) I am thankful for our healthcare professionals and the factual, non-emotive, evidence based advice they are providing.

My only real suggestion, as we face COVID-19, is that rather than listen to some idiot who after a twenty minute google search posts their expert opinion on Loserbook, we listen to our healthcare professionals.

Here’s a nifty wee phrase to share with others and also sing eight times as you wash your hands.

Listen to healthcare professionals, not the internet imbeciles!

Stay safe everyone. I’m off to panic buy a two-pack of 3-ply!

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